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An America United

by Lewis Krell

I did not watch a second of the BCS National Championship game last Monday night. I have been told that I missed nothing. By all accounts this was an extremely boring rematch of an extremely boring game between two dominant but extremely boring teams. Normally I would never miss a Championship game in any major sport but I’ve been pushed to the brink by the BCS. I simply do not care anymore.

Every bowl game except for the national championship game is played for something intangible. "Hurrah! We won the Sugar Bowl!" What the fuck does that even mean? Seriously, think about it, what does that mean? We’ve been told it’s important because it’s been around for a long time, but all it means is that you are the best team on that particular day between two teams who were chosen to play by a bizarre and biased system. I could rant forever and ever about how dumb the BCS is but instead I wanted to look at something far more interesting; the fact that a hatred of the BCS is literally the ONLY thing that all Americans agree upon.

A recent Sports Illustrated poll found that more than 90% of sports fans in America oppose the BCS.

That is an insane number! This is an issue that has more bi-partisan support than any other issue in the country. This is perhaps the most fractured this country has ever been since it broke in two and the level of vitriol between ordinary citizens on opposites ends of the political spectrum has never been higher. I thought it would be fun to see what things I could find that have less than 90% support in this country. Here is a short list of a few things I found:

Only 85% of African-Americans plan to vote for President Obama in the next election.

Only 77% of people polled at Occupy Wall Street support raising taxes on the wealthy.

Only 70% of Hawaiians claim they are happy with their overall level of well-being.

Only 67% of Americans who may make more than $250,000 a year believe their taxes are too high.

Only 82% of American Jews believe it will be impossible to achieve peace negotiating with Hamas.

Only 82% of single people over the age of 70 reported having not had sex within the past year.

Only 85% of Americans believe an abortion is ok if it saves the mother’s life.

To paraphrase the above statements:

A total of 15% of this country’s African-American citizens will not vote again for the first ever African-American President. But only 10% of this country is in favor of the BCS.

At Zuccoti Park, 23% of respondents, who belong to a group of the most outspoken critics of capitalism and the lack of wealth distribution in America, do not agree that we should be raising taxes on the richest members of society. But only 10% of this country is in favor of the BCS.

This country has a state where 30% of its citizens are unhappy with their well-being even though they live in perpetual paradise. Rich people LOVE bitching about how their taxes are too high and yet there are still 33% of them who are ok with what they pay. A full 18% of this country’s Jewish population has optimism that peace can be achieved through negotiations with Hamas, an internationally recognized terrorist organization who’s founding charter calls for the destruction of Israel. There is an 18% chance that your single grandpa has had sex within the year and 15% of Americans say they are fine with a MOTHER DYING if it means it will prevent an abortion…. but only 10% of this country approves of the current college football format for selecting a champion.

This post was not meant to be about anything political; I just thought you should all be aware of how difficult it is to get a 90% consensus on anything in present-day America.

In closing, fuck the BCS.

Image courtesy of CAtkeison. "Roll Tide" and all that.

Lewis Krell is a Canadian expat and Inclusive staff writer. His work with a more maple leaf-styled slant can be found at Fifty Mission Cap. Contact him at lewis.krell [at] theinclusive.net