Article Title
Article Title

A Team Win

by Mike Anton

BROOKLYN -- The scene was chaotic. Just after the final pass from Tom Brady bounced off the ground, four or five men, dressed in blue and white, threw their arms in the air, victoriously. They gathered around each other for a series of high fives, bro-grabs, and frantic texting with friends from far away. All the while, Patriots fans, dressed in white, blue, and red, sat on the couch, drinking their alcohol much quicker than usual.

I was able to pull one of the Giants aside to discuss their Super Bowl victory.

"Can you believe it?"

Man, I've been saying it all along. If we just go out there, pressure the quarterback, and leave the game in my man Eli's hands, we're coming home with the Lombardi Trophy. And it's coming home us!

The assembled few cheer

"How does this feel in comparison to the last one in 2007?"

Well I had a lot less hate in my heart, so that was good. But it felt pretty similar, really. A team that doesn't jump well out the gate, so we all start thinking who we can draft with the number 3 overall prick next season. Then they do just okay enough to probably lose in heartbreaking fashion to the Cowboys and Eagles as the season goes longer. Then they face a test in the Saints and get their dicks kicked in so I refused to acknowledge the team's existence.

Half-heartedly watch the first Cowboys game knowing that they're lose cause they suck, then enjoy the Jets game cause suddenly they suck but haven't lost twice. Remember that the Giants lost to the Packers 38-35 just as the Giants lost to the Pats in the last game of '07 38-35 and then get stupid confident that they're going to win even though if they got their asses handed to them I wouldn't be surprised at all. Like always, I stuck by them, through thick and thin, mostly to point out how dogshit how they are and how everyone needs to be fired. But when that faith comes through in the end? It's a great feeling, man. A great feeling.

"Can you tell us a little about your preparation in the days leading up to the game?"

Well, I was training, which is good. Saw an improv show on Friday night, drank a lot. Went to a friend's birthday at Whiskey Tavern, drank a lot, but didn't play Jenga. Got up this morning at around 2:00, headed on the subway with some chips, pretzels, and soda. All of this done while wearing the same shirt combination since the beginning of the playoffs - one for a hockey player at my alma mater BU for some bizarro luck, a white undershirt for when you're running but I never do that, and my ELI jersey. ELI!

"Let's talk about the Welker play."

...Which one?

"Wes Welker found a hole in the zone and had a ball floated in to him, just over his reach. It's a ball that should've been caught, especially by the sure-handed Welker."

Oh shit that happened? Oh man, that's crazy!

"You missed it?!"

Nah, that was probably when I was in the other room getting a beer from the bathtub and then some of that artichoke dip. Did you get any of that? And with the pita chips?!

"I didn't get any, I'm report--"

--You blew it big time, Jimmy Olsen. But he dropped the catch though, right?

"Yeah."

G-MEEEEENNNNNN!!!!

"Are there any other moments that stood out tonight?"

The beer was good, not too competitive between people on what to drink. Really liked the wings, even though they were the small kinds that you really don't get as big a sense of conquering, y'know? And lots of veggies. Oh, there was that one girl in a really short top who kept bending over for food. Just kinda kept my head down and visually plowed into that.

"Going in to halftime, did you discuss any techniques to implement in the second half?"

Yeah, so after the two combined days of drinking I had very little energy, mostly kept up by pure anxiousness, so I got a little tight. Someone told me I was watching the game like it was Schindler's List. Went to a medic who tossed me a xanex, which really balanced me out. In that I lost my balance all the time. But I really did feel great. I think it really attributed to my ability to start flipping chairs and scream like a banshee in wholly deserved victory.

"What does this win mean to you?"

Considering we watch a group of 22 strangers who are paid millions upon millions of dollars to try and win a children's game as none of these guys have any idea who they are playing for other than Mr. Greenback, well, it means a lot. Now I can buy another hoodie to add to my collection, I might get a new hat if it doesn't look incredibly stupid. But most importantly, I can take comfort in the fact that Boston is once again a city of losers, a fact that will be cemented by the Bruins losing in an awful 7-game series in the second round this year. And then all will be right with the world. We good? I gotta hit the showers and stretch.

"That was great, thank you very much and congratulations!"

WE DID IIIIITTTTT!!!

Image courtesy of Deanna Cirino

Mike Anton is the Editor-In-Chief at The Inclusive. Mike writes movie reviews and interview pieces for The Film Stage as well as screenplays, sketches, and the like. He lives in New York City and though he's an avid beard and flannel enthusiast, he does not consider himself a hipster. Contact him at mike.anton[at]theinclusive.net or @mpants