Article Title
Article Title

Every Sperm is Sacred

by Josh Zeisel

Arizona recently passed a law that attempts to redefine the gestation age of an embryo as “from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman.” Actually, three laws were passed, but this specific law makes it seem like this Huffington Post article was meant to be published on April 1st. If you do not follow, it simply means that a woman is considered pregnant the day after she finishes her period.

Before I go any further, I would like to give us all a lesson on how babies are made because it seems that the Arizona lawmakers desperately need one. When a man and a woman meet and fall in love (or just have sex) the man inserts his penis into the woman’s vagina. Even simpler: the woman can touch a man in such a way that he ejaculates seminal fluid in and/or around her vagina. The man’s seminal fluid contains sperm, which have tails and swim to seek out the woman’s egg that is located inside her uterus.

Both the egg and the sperm contain exactly half the DNA needed to create a full-fledge Homosapien, or human being. The semen is actually filled with many sperm cells, as the uterus is a spacious place compared to the size of the egg and sperm cells. It is like finding a needle in a haystack during the middle of a cloudy night. When one lucky sperm cell meets the egg and is able to burrow inside its cell wall, the two halves of the DNA code combine to form one new cell with a full set of DNA.

This DNA is the combination of traits from the father and the mother, which is why children tend to look like their parents. The fertilized egg, officially called an embryo, then starts the process of splitting and continually doubling the amount of cells. The cells continue to double until they can form into the various body parts that make up a human person. After an average of nine months, the fully formed human is ready to leave its mother and take its place in the world.

There have been many debates on when the embryo should be considered a fully formed human. These debates are made because many people are against abortions. Whether you are against abortions or not there is no doubt a process of gestation. It is a process that is well known. It is very easy to search the internet and find real pictures of real cells during each process of the gestation cycle of a human, or of any other animal for that matter.

Yet one thing holds true of all advanced animals and even plants on Earth: there can be no offspring without the combination of a male sex cell and a female sex cell. The definition of life that is put forth by this Arizona law is utter bullshit. There is no chance that an egg inside a uterus can form into a human without a counterpart sperm cell. No sex, no mutual masturbation or hand job with a stray shot, no ejaculation of any sort? No life. Eggs have the ability to produce life; they are not alive.

It is hard to believe that such important aspects of the creation of a child could be confused. Arizona lawmakers have to understand that they are making a bold statement by passing this law. A virgin is considered pregnant when she may be too young to even understand how sex works. This leads one to think that the person in Arizona who proposed this law for the first time must have some connection to MTV. They must have some show in the works that they would call “12 and Pregnant.” I hate to disappoint them, but they are going to have a hard time following a full nine-month pregnancy after the girl has her period.

As a friend pointed out, she should be traumatized as every month she gets pregnant and then has a miscarriage. This idea leads to a key comparison of eggs and sperm. The argument can be made that the only difference between a sperm cell and an egg cell is the tail the sperm possesses that allows it to swim into an egg. If this is the case, then the sperm cell can also be considered developed enough to assume gestation. Therefore, men become pregnant every second of their mature lives as they create new sperm cells all the time, non-stop. Every masturbation session is a mass killing of children! What an outrage!

The people in Arizona should be embarrassed that they would even think to consider such an idea, let alone signing it into law. The process of conception is fact, backed up by clear documentation. There are even pictures that are easy to follow paired with words that describe what's happening, for your convenience.

There is no skewing of data. There is no cheating. There are only the facts of life. The lack of knowledge and understanding of life displayed by Arizona has gone beyond what can be considered intelligent argument. It is moving away from democracy and towards dictatorships that choose to define laws that benefit the ideals of the leaders.

Image courtesy of Clouds Hill Imaging / Corbis via National Georgraphic


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Josh Zeisel is a professional mechanical engineer and graduate of Boston University. His favorite meal is a chicken parm sub and an orange soda. On clear sunny days you might look up and find him flying something. Strike up a conversation with Josh at josh.zeisel[at]